Boring thoughs about love

Wish I hve courage enough to say those three words for u, wish I wasn't afraid to never hear u say it back for me... I hate be in love u know, even when I not even know if I am really in love, can be just friendship, dunno... even 'cuz I know that I hardly will tell to someone that I'm thinking a lot about someone this days, nd than everytime he tells me about the girl he's in love, I get a litlle bit more sad, wishing he was talking about me, not about any other girl, well, the history of my life... I'll never hve the courage to tell him this things, I mean, I can put this things on somewhere than he can see, or things like this, but if he come ask, I don't think I'll really give him (or anyone) a answer, doesn't really matter, but I hve to wrote about. I'm looking to my arms right now, nd now I hve scars on the right arm too, so I hve to hide this arm now either, I was thinking that I need a good reason to stop smoking again, nd mayube to drink a litlle bit less, I need something, healthy, just to get out of my unhealthy habits for a while, just something that make me feel good, nd make me don't wanna smoke again, nd don't hve to drink just cuz I hve nothing to do, or taking my pills, dunno. I want something, that I never though I can need before, someone to love, some light on the darkness, a reason for wake up every morning, I wish I could learn the really meaning of love, of true love. this is a thing I never do... Wish I hve u by my side To love me nd to hold me To make me feel special nd wish u could trust me I want be ur best friend I want that u want me I wish u could need me as much as I wanna need u... I wish u could love me as much as I wanna love u 'cuz I wanna got u To make me feel stronger... -'nd now I'm getting sick of myself, I am not that romantic, please don't trust on that, I'm really not, I'm just bored nd sad. this will pass, do not worry... sahushaushaushas ;D