Boring thoughs about love

Wish I hve courage enough to say those three words for u, wish I wasn't afraid to never hear u say it back for me... I hate be in love u know, even when I not even know if I am really in love, can be just friendship, dunno... even 'cuz I know that I hardly will tell to someone that I'm thinking a lot about someone this days, nd than everytime he tells me about the girl he's in love, I get a litlle bit more sad, wishing he was talking about me, not about any other girl, well, the history of my life... I'll never hve the courage to tell him this things, I mean, I can put this things on somewhere than he can see, or things like this, but if he come ask, I don't think I'll really give him (or anyone) a answer, doesn't really matter, but I hve to wrote about. I'm looking to my arms right now, nd now I hve scars on the right arm too, so I hve to hide this arm now either, I was thinking that I need a good reason to stop smoking again, nd mayube to drink a litlle bit less, I need something, healthy, just to get out of my unhealthy habits for a while, just something that make me feel good, nd make me don't wanna smoke again, nd don't hve to drink just cuz I hve nothing to do, or taking my pills, dunno. I want something, that I never though I can need before, someone to love, some light on the darkness, a reason for wake up every morning, I wish I could learn the really meaning of love, of true love. this is a thing I never do... Wish I hve u by my side To love me nd to hold me To make me feel special nd wish u could trust me I want be ur best friend I want that u want me I wish u could need me as much as I wanna need u... I wish u could love me as much as I wanna love u 'cuz I wanna got u To make me feel stronger... -'nd now I'm getting sick of myself, I am not that romantic, please don't trust on that, I'm really not, I'm just bored nd sad. this will pass, do not worry... sahushaushaushas ;D

When smile hurts

Depression, depressive, suicide, mutilation, soul, broke, inside, life, dead, wishes, family, money, doctors, pills, marks, fake, fellings, heart, eye, tear, make up, hair, bathroon, bed, music, mother, friends, save, secure, lost, mirror, numbers, food, day, night, moon...

BLUR

Surreal 'nd stressefull blur, wan'ts to give up of everything, just lie down nd forget the worrys, get out of this day nightmare, take a train to dreamland, when everything can be perfect, somewhere without worrys or problems, without darkness, somewhere with hope, happines, colors, butterflies, moon, flowers, somewhere onlky with good thing, with no space for sadness. A dreamland.

FAKE

Fake smile -hurts inside- Fake lough - make my ears bleed-Fake try -inside death- FAKES. THE ALL WORLD IT'S FULL OF FAKES.

I don't wanna be another fake, but I'm already am. I don't wanna be like this, but I'm already am...

A fake world full of true fellings...

WISHES

I just wish I could be myself...

"I just wanna someone who want's to be near me, to hold my hand, to put my hair behind my ear when it fall into my face, to wrap me in his arms, to love me the same way I love him"

I just wanna lie down

with lots of flowers around

Looking for the full moon

Hearing the sound of his heart beats

Felling his warmth

'Cuz he's the only one

Who ever make me fell this way

Falling... fainting... loving...

He is in my dreams...

But every time I open my eyes

He's not here.

By G.

With nothing else to say, here I let my goodbye, Love u guys very much.

hey...

I'm not really sure about wht I wanna write, I just know than I wanna write about something, or about nothing, yeah it's confused I know, I am confused acctualy, on like, every single thing... I heard once than our head it's like lots of boxes, nd each box hve one thing, now imagine than my head its full of those boxes, nd nothing it's on the right place, or, if it is, inside of that box it's a mess... resume, everything inside or outside this boxes it's a mess, u nees a escape of all this mess right, well I need, nd than I recover to somethings than it's not consider right u know, I can tell this here, really can't, but it's like that... everyone has one way to put urself streight, this is my way... unhealthy or not, right or not... I really don't care... I just wish than people stop try to change me, u know, it's like, u r never perfect, or u r to fat, or to thin, or if u try to work harder, to do the best, u r nerd, or r just trying to get some attention, if u on't do anything, u r a loser... COME ON, what hell happen than we hve to try every single hour in the day to fit on society, it's hard u now... try to get this perfection, knowing than u never get it... than when u r doing everything they find a disease nd send u to a lot of doctors nd all this shit... stop try to change me, stop try to change people, this is so boring... I believe than everyone know wht it's doing with theirself, if u r doing one thing u know if it is the best or not, u know the consequences, u chose do that... well this is wht I think, u may agree with me or not... but one thing it's a fact, it's really hard to find one person than didn't wanna change anyone, may be anything, but we always think than we hve this right,. to do things on our own way... humpf...

that's it, I can keep writing, but it will be boring (isn't already?) so I'll gonna stop here...

:)

with Love

G.

♥